An older brother explained it to me pretty well I think… He said that in marriage a man has to maintain his wife. Meaning that he has to do everything to maintain the love between them. Meaning he has to make sure she doesn’t waiver into things that may make her unattractive to her. Usually the guyz who end up thinking about getting second wives are the one’s who couldn’t maintain there first. I don’t mean anything negative or demeaning by maintain so don’t jump on my back! Most brothers I have seen get a second wife, are usually to widows or divorcee’s or converts.

I think that women do have a complaint to make but at the same time shouldn’t use this to prove to their husband why they shouldn’t marry a second wife. Marrying a second or third or even a fourth wife is allowed for a man. Also, it is allowed for him even without any stipulations one may think of. Except that he be fair to them.

Reality usually hits most men when they first get married. They realize how hard it can be and usually is to just take care of one woman and all her needs. They usually end up forgetting about the multiple wife thought. It usually comes back when either they lose interest and don’t maintain the love or the wife isn’t doing enough to maintain the relationship.

polygamy is sunnah, yeah… but so is marrying a shattered widow.

-Rosencrantz..